So as my first blog I will be writing a similar blog to that of the segment off the Family Guy Movie, a segment entitled, “What really grinds my gears”. This will be my own verison.  

You know what really grinds my gears?

 When i can’t decide to play with my batman or my legos.

 I mean. . . batman has all the skills. But the lego i can make so many things like, lions and jungles and pirates and castles.

But there is a soltion. A lego batman.

This really annoys me. Now struck with a senario in which i can play batman and lego it seems my problem is ultimately resolved. But no.

 Lego batman does not have any of the skills that the real batman doll has. Sure he can now carry a wide arangement of lego weapons, but he doesn’t have a legit cape.

 Legit cape.

Seriously i am pissed off now. It seems to be my parents fault. Why did they buy me batman AND legos. I HATE THEM.

Talking about capes, i mean, why cant spider man have a cape? Spider man is just as good as batman, in fact probably better. Can batman fire webs from his hands? can batman beat bonesaw in the cage? can batman score with kirsten dunst?

I think not.

Kirsten Dunst. I mean what a shit actor. C’mon did you ever see wimbledon? What the fuck! What the fuck! Tennis is lame people, tennis is lame.

 And that is what really grinds my gears.

Stay tuned!

This is going to contain a few quotes from songs by Circle Takes The Square. I’ve been listening to them a lot lately (thanks Bug), and I’m finding a lot of relevance and meaning in their music and lyrics.

“Life is lowly, lowly anonymity.”

Why do so many of us feel unloved, and unwanted. Why are we rejected, always? Does not each one of us deserve to be loved? Life is lowly anonymity. No one knows who we are, no one cares weather or not we exist. What’s the point of this meaningless existence? Why do so many people try to commit suicide?

“in death a noble pose”

Death brings out honesty. It’s not until someone dies that people will say ’he really was a great guy, I wish I’d gotten to know him better.’ What’s wrong with doing it before they die? Just telling one person that you care about them, that you appreciate the fact that they exist, might make all the difference, it might even save a life.

“Tell me who wouldn’t give their lives for such a soap box to die behind”

Everyone wants to be something, achieve something before they die. No one wants to die as a nobody. But the truth is, we don’t realise how many lives we effect, we don’t know who truly cares about us. We’re so wrapped up in our own self pity, so blinded by our tears, we can’t see into the hearts of those who care.

“But the only truth is change, have patience”

Our biggest problem is that we give up too soon. Sometimes you need to have your heart torn to shreds. Sometimes you need to be reminded that you are a weak and pathetic human, that’s how you learn and grow. It might make you cynical, but there’s strength in finding your weaknesses. It’s only when you reach the bottom that the journey upwards begins.

“There’s so much hope buried underneath tragedy”

Learn, Live, Grow. Sometimes tragedy leads to happiness. Don’t give up when it all goes wrong, your life isn’t over, even though it may feel like it is.

“Time heals wounds, but you have to learn to live with the scars”

Not CTTS quote, but one of my own, from a novel I’m writing. I don’t know if it will ever get published, but I’ve got to try. I’ve got to take my own advice.

P.S. Go find yourself some real emo music. I recommend Circle Takes The Square.

Yesterday two of my friends and the mother of one of said friends were taking a long drive down to the amusement park. Summer is almost over, so we might as well get in as much fun as we can with the remainder of it.

“Can we stop for lunch somewhere?” asked one friend.

“There’s a McDonald’s right off of this exit, want to go in there?” responded his mother. We all nodded yes. She made a right and we were on our way to McDonald’s.

Several minutes later we were standing in line at McDonald’s, getting ready to order. I tapped my friend on the shoulder and said quietly, “Hot chick just walked in, look to your right.”

“Dude I hate those whiny emo bitches. They’re like a walking death with nice tits.”

“She’s wearing a fucking Minor Threat shirt, it can’t be that bad.”

And in typical me fashion, I slid out of line and walked in her direction. She got hotter with every step I took. She had that big poofy scene chick hair that I like so much and was wearing a huge ass pair of headphones; the kind that cancel out all the noise around you. Apparently she was with a group of friends, as I was later told, but I was too focused on her C cups to notice.

I was standing directly in front of her.

“I like your shirt. They’re one of my favorite bands,” I stated.

She took off her headphones and wrapped them around her neck. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“I like your shirt. They’re one of my favorite bands,” I repeated.

“Haha, me too. I like your shirt as well.” She pointed down at my Circle Takes the Square tee.

I came.

I tried to keep my cool. “I didn’t think a lot of people liked them,” I said.

“Neither did I,” she replied.

My semen was dripping down my leg. There was a bit of an awkward pause.

“What are you listening to?” I asked. I thought I could hear City of Caterpillar’s “And You’re Wondering How a Top Floor Could Replace Heaven” faintly out of her headphones, but I wasn’t so sure.

“City of Caterpillar.”

I didn’t think I would ever stop cumming at this point. My shoes were becoming warm and sticky. I felt like Tim Allen in a dressing room for young boys. I wanted to rip off all of her clothes right there and have violent intercourse with her.

“I think we’re going to be good friends,” I said.

Sigh. If only something like this would actually happen.

Equality is fiction. It’s a dream, a wish. Everyone wants to be treated the same. But it will never happen. And yet many say that diversity is good, but if you are different you are hated. I can’t make sense of that. Its worth more thought, but it’s not what I’m interested in today.

Your life sucks. You don’t look the way you want to look, you don’t have any friends, and no one cares about you. Your parents are mean, your siblings are spoiled, your boy/girlfriend dumped/cheated on you. Life is misery; you cry, you cut, you want to suicide.

I feel sorry for you, but can you shut the fuck up? Seriously. Don’t you think I have enough of my own problems without you whining in my ear for hours on end about how you can’t go to the concert you wanted to go to, that you’ve been grounded for another month, that your goldfish died.

Get over it.

Oh, you’re oh so miserable, you’re depressed, maybe you have some nasty mental illness, but you won’t go get yourself checked out.

Here’s what I think: It can always get worse.

You might get hit by a bus. Or maybe a satellite will fall through your roof and your dog will be killed, or your house will burn down, taking with it all your expensive clothes.

Actually, I really don’t care about you. You bore me with all your exaggerated problems; you bore me with your imagined loneliness. Your poetry sucks, your songs are lame, and you couldn’t play a tune to save your life. I’m sick of your shitty myspace photos, all tears and frowns, I’m sure you’d look really nice if you smiled in a normal photograph, you know, old school.

I don’t hate you, I don’t hate the way you dress, and I don’t hate the music you listen to. What I do hate is the stereotype you’ve helped create. I hate the way YOU have helped to give emo a bad name.

And one more thing, I want you to remember: There is always someone worse off than you.

Have a nice day.

Thats right, ME. The Emo Bucket Forum attention whore. And look at where I am writing. I’ve found a new way to get into your mind (since I can’t get into your pants). So, to give you a bit of forewarning as to what I will write about: I HATE EVERYTHING. Just so you know. Yes, I like to rant. I can rant for ages about nothing in particular. And sometimes I rant about something that has a lot of meaning to me. If I believe in something, I will stick to it. There is no point in arguing with me when you can’t change my mind.

If you’re really lucky you might even get the occasional film review out of me. Not the latest releases, but films that I think are cool, and you HAVE to watch.

My next post should interest all you emokids.

Thats all from me…. for now.

This isn’t going to be much of an entry, since it’s somewhat spontaneous. But here’s a little story of how I got started doing this:

-The topic of social networking sites and blogging came up in (http://www.gabbly.com/forum.emobucket.com) Gabbly and it inspired me to make a Live Journal, which is already going to not be used.

-I posted the Live Journal on the forum.

-Flowman told me to start posting here.

I’ll mostly be posting music info and reviews and such in the future. But for now, there is this:

(http://www2.kerrang.com/2008/07/emo_and_goth_to_be_made_illega.html) Kerrang! Article.

tl;dr version: Russia is making emo and goth music illegal because they got all butthurt after the Hannah Bond ordeal. That’s the chick who killed herself because of MCR. Remember that? Yeah.

So I first heard about this news on the forum (http://forum.emobucket.com/russia-banning-emos-t22619.html) but didn’t believe it for a second, as you can tell by my first response to the thread. But after my daily trip to Sputnik Music I found out that it was legit. Can you imagine? Something legitimate posted on our forums?

Until next time, this is Bug. Potential saving grace of Emo the Blog. But I doubt it.

EDIT: Oh damn I suck at html.

Today was supposed to be the first day that I started this  “no music” thing, to be honest I was keeping it up; I had my updates from part of the day already written, and I was waiting on a thumbs up from flowmo about and HTML issue; and well I broke it.

I found out something horrible (I really don’t want to go into details at the moment, maby when I’m not considering going down to starbucks and ordering a venti cup of espresso to distract me from my feelings.) Anyway, I’m a bit upset right now and I really just can’t so I’ll just be listening to Imogen for a few hours untill I pass out from exhaustion. The “No Music” project will have to wait, at least untill I’m out of a spiralling depression. I’ll keep you posted.

Still, here are my posts that were in progress and ready to be posted from earier today (when I was creuly ignorant of my sad realities;) consider them a sneak peak for the full project coming…coming…

6:30 am: I drove from my grandmother’s house up to where I live this morning, (I was staying over to take care of my cousin for the night) and I felt a bit odd driving quietly alone. Topping this off was my quiet breakfast, also alone; the quiet really reminds me that I’m by myself, it’s a bit eery. Well, I’m sure it will improve later in the afternoon after I get home.

10:46 am: I just got back from my math class (I’m taking summer courses to get a start on the fall as part of this scholarship.) I’m feeling really sleepy, the lack of music is making it hard for me to stay awake; I can’t sleep, I have a 2pm class, and if I sleep now I’ll be groggy and unable to focus…then again…that’s not much worse than I am right now…hmmm those covers…they look oh so tempting….

1:14 pm: I managed to resist the urge to sleep, my friend rex is helping me stay awake (on msn.) It’s odd I have been having this strong desire to reach for my headphones everytime I sit down at my computer, I think If I wasn’t on msn I would probably end up getting tired again… I have a 2 pm class, which will probably keep me entertained, what I’m really dreading is this evening, I’ll end up in front of my computer untill I go excercise, that will really be the test for me; now that I think about it, I’ve never excercised without my ipod… (I really hope that I can actually bring myself to do it without it, I knew I’d be putting my mental health on the line, but not my physical body….hmmm….)

I never really considered myself to be one particularly addicted to music; I mean yea occasionally I listen to pandora now and then, maby buy a song or two on itunes, but I never really considered myself into music. Like most everyone else, I have an ipod, but most of the time it stays home except for the few rare occasions when I take it with me on a trip to watch video or catchup on my podcasts, but I never listen to it compulsively like those people I see on my campus or at starbucks. No I am not a music addict; so I thought hey, seven days, how hard could it be? When I mentioned this little experiment to the people on EB I got comments like:

“I probably wouldn’t last a few hours without it. My zune is my constant companion.”

“is it possible to go through that for 7 days?”

“I could never do such a thing.”

“I would kill myself that way…The idea only makes me sad… Ash, you just made me sad”

So I was a bit stuck, and now I’m a bit nervous; it got me thinking, are people addicted to music? Am I addicted to music? No; that’s impossible. But I will admit I’m apprehensious, maby it will be easy, maby it will be hard, but I’ll do it anyway, for 7 days, or in other words; 168 hours, 10,080 minutes, or 604,800 seconds…without music. The rules:

No use of my ipod. Period. Not even for video. (so no temptations)

No using my ihome to wake me up to music. (as a way to prevent accidental hearing I’ll use my phone as an alarm in the mean time)

No using itunes on my computer.

No music in my car (whether I’m driving or not.)

Any music in games must be turned off if I can, if I can’t the sound must be muted. (not a problem as I’m playing FF7 right now)

As for TV and movies (and more importantly my anime) and musical parts must be skipped or muted over; (like the beginings and the endings) and no musicals (not a problem, I haven seen one in a while but still IT’S A RULE)

No using pandora, online radio, or any other music site.

(if you have more suggestions for rules, comment)

Wish me luck…I hope I won’t need it.

There is no doubt that poetry is emo, it goes hand in hand with the emotion, fashion, and overall stereotype. It’s so ubiquitous that we even have a whole forum dedicated to it.

In light of this I have decided to periodically post a poem or two for the blog; tell me what you think of this excerpt from Conrad Aike’s 1953 preludes series entitled “Preludes for Memnon.”

“I read the primrose and the sea

                                    and remember nothing

I read Arcturus and the snow

                                    and remember nothing

I read the green and white book of spring

                                    and remember nothing

I read the hatred in a man’s eye

                                    Lord, I remember nothing.

(more…)

Oh yes, we all love Hot Topic, sandwiched between an Abercrombie and a Hollister, they are our shining light, our only glimmer of hope, in a mall filled with preppy and self-indulgent clothes, but the fact that they are the ubiquitous symbol of scene fashion, doesn’t mean that they haven’t had their misses…

The gold phase:

Just last season someone over at our favorite retailer decided that the words “goth” “emo” and “indie” translated as “gold” “hip hop” and “gangster” and not even our impulse to love all things shiny could save these travesties of fashion:

(more…)